Travis Kelce's ex, Taylor Swift and when we call someone a 'girl's girl'

She keeps secret what's told to her in confidence. She's lending out her lip plumper in the bar bathroom. And she celebrates her friend's wins as much as she sits with her during her losses.

That's just being a "girl's girl," a trustworthy woman who stops at nothing for other women's happiness, safety and care. Her green flag is that she points out his red flags − she's not coming for your man and vigilantly protects the girls from the bad guys.

From Ariana Grande to Taylor Swift, the term has been all over pop culture dating discourse recently, and the use of the phrase in various contexts suggests how much intention matters. Whether someone is or isn't labeled as a "girl's girl" sets them up for social judgment as a princess or a pariah.

So what happens when someone is not a girl's girl? Herein we see the paradox: If a woman chooses to behave alternatively, it creates a slippery slope for finger-pointing, according to Barbara Greenberg, a clinical psychologist with expertise in female relationships.

"This gives permission to be judge-y," Greenberg said. "You're either a girl's girl or your not ... Any time there's a very strong label like this, there's a risk for it to be used as a weapon."

Ariana Grande, Travis Kelce's ex and girl's girls

Take the viral exchange between the ex-wife of Grande's current beau, "Wicked" co-star Ethan Slater. When Grande and Slater's relationship came to light, his former partner Lily Jay blasted the pop star for supposedly ruining their marriage.

The internet is furious at Ariana GrandeWhat that says about us.

“[Ariana’s] the story, really. Not a girl’s girl,” Jay said in July to Page Six. “My family is just collateral damage.”

Then this week, Travis Kelce's ex Maya Benberry issued a warning to Swift about dating the star Kansas City Chiefs tight end. (Swift was spotted was cheering next to Kelce's mother from their family suite on Sunday.)

“Taylor seems like such a fun girl with a beautiful spirit so I wish her the best of luck but I wouldn’t be a girl's girl if I didn’t advise her to be smart!…Only time will tell but like the saying always goes, once a cheater, always a cheater," Benberry told Daily Mail.

The implication of Benberry's comment, Greenberg said, whether she intended to or not, set Swift up on the tribunal of "girl's girl" status.

The problem with the idea of a 'girl's girl'

Amid gender norms that shame women for their sexuality and put an outsized microscope on their dating lives, "girl's girls" play a necessary collective role in protecting one another from misogyny, inequality and outright violence.

The "women supporting women" aspect of the phrase is something Greenberg says is immensely positive. But the label also reinforces ambiguous rules about what makes a "good girl," risking punishment for anyone who falls outside that expectation. Not acting like a "girl's girl" then appears to be the ultimate crime, rather than the actions of the man or partner committing the abuse itself.

Within the category of "girl" there should be "room for different sorts of behavior," Greenberg said, and women should remember there are dynamic factors at play in any relationship — especially the celebrity ones we know nothing about.

Swift herself has had a fraught history with being seen as a "girl's girl," famously uniting her "Squad" in the "1989" era only to see that castle crumble amid criticism that promoting a tribe of successful also very white, cisgender, rich and thin women didn't prove a point about inclusion.

Swift has since taken a more subtle (if that's possible) approach to her female friendships, most recently stepping out arm-in-arm in New York City with actor Sophie Turner, who is currently going through a messy divorce with Joe Jonas.

Swift's visible companionship with Turner absolutely reinforced her reputation as a "girl's girl," who shows up for a friend in crisis. But will Swift heed Benberry's advice in true "girl's girl" style? And does she even have to?

To Swifties, Greenberg said to give Swift the "grace" they would a friend: "My major concern is there should be discussion on Travis' behavior and the fact the emphasis is on Swift highlights a greater societal problem that men are high-fived and women are shamed."

Time will tell whether the football player and songstress officially unite. Regardless, the girls will be watching.